january 24, 2021
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https://www.caringbridge.org/site/90978051-037d-3b2f-872d-5625846183cd/post/83d4c448-fbfa-3e7e-8e4a-7ac329f061c0
Hi friends,
So here we are :) despite some initial hesitation, we've decided that it will be a good idea to create this central space where we can share updates and I think also so I can have the space to process and share in writing some of the things that God teaches me during this season. I have no doubt that he will use this season, as with any other, to reveal new aspects of his heart to me and to invite me deeper into what it means to live fully for him.
So thanks for being here if you are :) I hope that someone else is encouraged along the way too and that you also know God's deep love and care for you in whatever you are also walking right now. We are definitely aware that we do not have a monopoly on facing hard things right now, and that many people find themselves tired, worn out, disheartened and in need of the strength, purpose and hope that Jesus brings. Praying that as I share pieces of my story for this particular chunk that this will be a space where the hope, love & purpose of Jesus are known in new ways for us all.
As an introduction, just wanted to share how we got here and what we know of where we're headed in terms of next steps:
In mid December, just while sitting on the couch one evening, I felt something uncomfortable and just resistant in my left breast. We left it just for a couple of days because it seemed strange to overreact, but also because I have a pre-existing diagnosis of a genetic syndrome we knew that we shouldn't just ignore it either.
My family has a pretty intense history of a variety of cancers, and especially ones that have hit earlier than normal in life. A couple of years ago this led to a genetic diagnosis of what's called Li Fraumeni Syndrome and since then I have had regular screening to catch any hints of cancer as early as possible.
After I tested positive for Li Fraumeni, we also had our four kiddos tested. Henry, our youngest, who is 6 years old now, also tested positive and the other three were negative. Henry has also been having screening for the last couple of years at SickKids and we're so thankful for the thorough care that we receive there. Henry is a superstar with his screening appointments and we have no concerns about his health at this time.
After letting it be for the weekend, I emailed my Li Fraumeni doctor and he immediately replied that I needed to have it looked into right away. That led to a fairly quick round of ultrasound, mammogram and then a biopsy and consult with the surgical oncologist. She confirmed that the mass is malignant and shows markers of what's called a HER2+ type of cancer. The type is a fast-growing kind of cancer, which was expected given the Li Fraumeni condition.
My surgical oncologist, Dr. Hosein, said that because of the type of cancer, the recommended course of treatment will be chemotherapy first and then a bilateral or double mastectomy. The mastectomy will be both treatment and prevention and will significantly decrease my chances of reoccurrence or of new breast cancer in the future.
So we're waiting now for an appointment this coming week with the medical oncologist, who will oversee the chemotherapy. It will be another round of learning all kinds of things that we'd rather not know, but at the same time I know that the details will help us process and prepare and will also give another fresh opportunity to trust God again with each day that is to come.
Throughout the last many weeks of waiting, learning results and beginning to process what is ahead, God has been speaking his turth and assurances in many different ways. One way, that I've shared with some of you already, was through the artwork of Scott Erickson, shown in the cover photo on this page - the piece is titled Soar and I had bought it before any of this started not knowing the way God would use it to encourage my heart and turn my eyes back to him, over and over again.
It connects for me to this passage from Isaiah 40:
the Creator of all the earth.
He never grows weak or weary.
No one can measure the depths of his understanding.
He gives power to the weak,
They will run and not grow weary.
The will walk and not faint.
I made space to hang the picture up on our wall in the living room and when I am feeling weak, which is often, it gently reminds of the truth that I can trust in the steadfastness of God's provision and strength - that I need only be held in the truth of who he is and who I am as his beloved daughter.
Somehow, it makes it true that we're okay :) even when things are not at all as we would want them to be.
Thanks for praying with us friends - it is so incredibly appreciated and definitely helps to carry us through as well xo
