march 4, 2021
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Hi everyone,
I'm getting ready for round two of chemo tomorrow.
I was at the hospital today already to have bloodwork and to check in with my medical team there.
A few 'hooray' things to note:
- my energy has been pretty much back to normal at the start of each day this week - I've been enjoying a few walks, getting some things done and visiting with friends online - all bringing joy & a sense of normalcy that is so very lovely
- they're going to give me a prescription for a stronger pain medication to help with the bone pain this round
- the tumour itself has shrunk so significantly already that they can't even measure it anymore, which is wonderful news!!
I'm very thankful for all of these things and for the way I have felt God's peace & closeness this week as I get ready to start the whole process again.
In some ways it's helpful to know what's coming, assuming that it's similar the second time around. In other ways, it's a bit daunting to think about doing it all over again. However, really all things considered I'm faring well, and there is so much to be thankful for.
My hair, unfortunately, is definitely on its way out.... showering this morning was a tad upsetting.
The last couple of days I have been using the sticky roller brush regularly to collect all the hair that's shedding onto my neck, back, shoulders, everything as it falls loose; I even just used it right on my head a few times lol
It's both hilarious and sad somehow at once - something to feel and grieve, while also not getting stuck there.
But I'm feeling ready to expedite things now I think - both because of the disconcerting effect of having clumps of hair come loose every time I touch my head, and also because of the mess and itchiness the masses of hair are causing. It's not really my hair anymore anyways, and seems right now to just carry forward with what's happening instead of trying to hold on to what was...
there's a whole reflection right there in that thought isn't there...
So some hard things to come in the next couple of days - and yet I really do feel a lightness and a readiness to step forward into them. What a wonderful answer to prayer xo
I would love your continued prayers in a few directions:
- for the kids as I do lose the rest of my hair one way or another - it's a big thing to them for me to not look like myself for sure, though I know they'll adjust quickly. Oh and really for Nathan and I too with this. Even though it's temporary and cosmetic, it's a hard thing and will take some grieving and adjusting for all of us.
- prayers for the days following chemo when I'll take the injection that causes the bone pain again - it's the part I'm dreading the most right now for sure.
- and also would love prayers that the nausea is non-existent again. I was pleasantly surprised to avoid that piece last time and would love for that to be the case again this round.
Thank you friends.
Thank you for your continued kindness, prayers and encouragement.
We were up at the cottage this past weekend and even the frozen lake reminded me again of how vast God's love and heart it for us. It's abundant, full of life & purpose, and freely ours.
Praying you know his deep love for you today xo Ask him to show you again, and I bet he won't disappoint :)
Photo of the lake by: Catherine Tolton
