may 4, 2021
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I hope that you're all having a good week so far.
My appointment last week with the plastic surgeon went well and after the emotional ups and downs, I feel settled and calm about my original decision to go ahead with the surgery and forgo reconstruction. Thank you for your prayers.
With the decision communicated, they were able to set a date for the surgery, which will be May 14th.
I'm feeling as ready as I can be, and while I know it'll get a bit rocky again for a bit, both physically and emotionally, I am also looking forward to moving through this last big chunk and being done with this business at last.
I have been feeling good the last week and we had a really lovely weekend together as a family. It was quiet and slow and we enjoyed each other's company. There were many small moments of laughter and fun and I am so very thankful for the simple delight of being present to them.
As I've turned my attention to God's closeness again in the last week, I have seen his love and beauty in so many different ways. I've been loving the slow rains, the smell of delicious baking, the hilariousness of our nutty puppy and how much she loves Nathan. I have also been so encouraged by the way God faithfully re-brings my attention to his promises of given strength, continued courage, and unfaltering hope.
I have found my heart landing more often again in a place of thanksgiving and rejoicing and oh it's good to feel the lightness and wholeness that is found there. There has been and will continue to be so much learning about how God is present in the hard; that it's not just surviving through, but being present to all that God is doing in the muddy middle of the story. But at the same time, it's also so good for my heart to notice the bright, moments of delight and hold them as a tangible reminder of the goodness that is always ours.
I read this Psalm/poem pairing today and love how it resonates with these things I've been feeling:
~ Psalm 16:8-11
I know the Lord is always with me,
I will not be shaken, for he is right beside me.
No wonder my heart is glad, and I rejoice.
My body rests in safety.
For you will not leave my soul among the dead or allow your holy one to rot in the grave.
You will show me the way of life, granting me the joy of your presence and the delight of living with you forever.
~ with each refreshing rain
each slant of sunshine
each beam of moonlight
each whisper of wind
in every spiraling thought
every turning of the heart
every spoken and written word
every action large and small
you steady, you lead
you encourage, you guide
you embrace, you never let go
one with my soul, one with my life
one with me in the first breath
one with me in the last
you know me now
you will know me
always and forever
I remember
I rejoice
[Unnamable God by Joyce Rupp]
Yes and amen.
Thank you Jesus.
Thank you for your continued prayers, support and encouragement friends.
We're so grateful for all the ways we continue to have such amazing community and love around us.
