march 22, 2021
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My third round of chemo is this Friday.
The week becomes one of preparation in a way with appointments, prescriptions, and anticipation.
But oh how I want these days to be slow.
I want to savour the space of feeling fully like myself, with a body that functions well and a spirit that is light.
I want to be present to the things that God is saying in this in-between space; in this place where I'm ready and able to listen and soak in his faithfulness, like a filling up & a getting ready for harder days ahead again.
I want to turn my attention fully to Jesus afresh today. To choose the slow, sure way of spending time in God's heart, of noticing the moments where he shows his love & delight for me and for others.
I read this prayer by Joyce Rupp this morning and it quite beautifully expresses all these things.
She writes it as a part of a Lenten preparation, a readying.
Praying for you and myself this week - that as the Spirit leads we can sit in this prayer, more than once, taking the time to feel & hear what God will highlight for our hearts; trusting that he will ready us & walk with us in each day that comes xo
Carrying Crosses
Holy One who journeys with me on the road of life with its hills and valleys.
May I recognize the daily cross that is mine and carry this burden in a trusted way, confident that the undesired parts of my life can be guides to my spiritual growth.
Teach me how to be with my personality traits that I consider unworthy or unacceptable.
Inspire me to release my tight grip when I wrestle with the resistant part of myself, the one that insists on having everything in life turn out the way I desire or demand.
Increase my awareness of the false judgments, the unfair expectations that quickly arise to crowd out kindness and compassion for myself and others.
Lessen unrestrained fears, and tedious worries that keep me imprisoned in turmoil and confusion, thus diminishing my spirit's strength and ability to reach beyond myself.
Soften any hardness of heart I have toward another. Increase my ability to be understanding. Help me topple the walls that prevent my being a forgiving person
Expand my perception of the good things my life already holds. Decrease apprehension about not having enough, being enough, doing enough, or growing enough.
Awaken the undying song of hope in my soul as I carry my unwanted cross each day, so that even in the worst of times I continue to trust you to provide what is needed.
Amen and amen.
